


Fugly

by 221b_hound



Series: Captains of Industry [30]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 221B Ficlet, Christmas, M/M, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, ugly christmas clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8760331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221b_hound/pseuds/221b_hound
Summary: Greg Lestrade always won the café’s voted-by-patrons Fugly Xmas Clothes competition.  This year, the habituees of Captains of Industry hope to beat him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Budgie smugglers" is Australian slang for Speedos, those tiny men's bathers.

Greg Lestrade always won the café’s voted-by-patrons Fugly Xmas Clothes competition. Once it was in the T-shirt with a snowman’s carrot-nose dangling at the hem like a faux cock. The next it was a drunk reindeer pooping baubles.

Christmas 2016, the habituees of Captains of Industry conspired to prevent that larrikin bastard from winning again.

Mrs Hudson’s T-shirt featured a badly appliqued, disturbingly furry penguin. Molly dyed her hair a festive green and set a fairy-light fascinator on it. Sally wore a tee portraying Santa on a surfboard being pulled by six white pointers.

John wore Elf board shorts and wove baubles into his beard. He was winning until Mycroft arrived in a three-piece suit tailored from the most garish Christmas patchwork design he could find.

Sherlock, arriving in a beautifully cut dark green suit, no shirt, looked to have made no effort, until he undid the buttons to reveal scarlet Santa-hat nipple pasties. (John kept staring and licking his lips.)

But Greg sauntered into the café in a pair of budgie smugglers, the image a close-up of a Christmas tree – lights, tinsel, faux fir tree branches, and a strategically placed bauble that drew the horrified eye, however fit the package it contained.

Nevertheless, Mycroft thoroughly enjoyed getting home, wrapping lips around lycra and making Greg come in his fugly bathers.

**Author's Note:**

> Images of [the offending Xmas articles are here on tumblr.](http://captainsofjohnlock.tumblr.com/post/154069919878/fugly-greg-lestrade-always-won-the-caf%C3%A9s)


End file.
